I will be hyperventilating
and acting closer to George Constanza at a children's birthday party when
he smelled "fire" as I make a new door where there isn't one. Parachute
smarachute..I'm going to wear everyone's coat from the overhead bin and
brace myself for a Disney ride of a lifetime.
I try so hard not to laugh
at the absurdity of how I am SUPPOSED to fasten a seatbelt, I listening
intently as I have a thousand times before, as the intercom follows up
with, "If the cabin loses pressure, please ensure you place the oxygen
mask on yourself FIRST before helping others."
SERIOUSLY, save your OWN
breath. You do not have to tell me that. My seated neighbor and I have
shared only an arm rest, we are not blood brothers.
No offense, but with my long
arms, I may even grab two masks and see which one exudes more oxygen before
leaving the others to fight over the malfunctioned one.
Honestly, you think they
would learn about travelers with frequent flier mileage and priority seat
assignments. But Noooo. Each time I fly, I hear the flight attendant ask
me if I am "comfortable" sitting in an emergency EXIT ROW and do I accept
responsibility of what it means if we are forced to evacuate.
"Mmmmm..lemme think..YES,
IT means I get more leg room than anyone but Captain Sully and if something
goes wrong, I'll consider unbuckling their seatbelts!" (I hope they paid
attention to how to UNLATCH)
BTW, Captain Sully isn't
on my flight but let me review this again in my head. He LANDED a plane
and kept passengers ALIVE (scratching my head), Is that NOT his job?
Remember loyal fans of the
Sully world (this is cynicalbuzz.com, not Thursday's edition of 20/20)
top
About the author: Erik
Hawkinson |
